dude so we were eating nacho cheese popcorn and chasing it with cole slaw
by the way nacho cheese popcorn is me making popcorn and then adding milk butter and mac n cheese mix
I think I have internal bruising from those poses we were doing last night. My own ribs hurt me. I don't understand.
No need to get angry I'm just tryin to get my door back
I wasn't going to take him home until I heard "hung like a water buffalo" then curiosity got the best of me.
It took him an hour to realize I wasn't this "Sarah" girl, and by then he was already crying and eating pizza rolls.
Wouldn't it be fantastic if the corporate world cared less about about our GPA and focused more on our mastery of social drunkenness?
The cab driver is now flexing at a red light...
Tried to make hash outta one of those keurig machines. I don't know why. Maybe the drunkenness, but now I have mushy bud and no ganja
Zak is like the Picasso of masterbatory texts
Dad got stoned the other day and bought us potty training seats for when we have children
My bail money is reserved for people I either A, think were in the right, or B, have an awesome story that leads up to needing it. Just remember that before you call me.
I woke up this morning with my hand on his dick. That sneaky bastard.
Im wearing black today mourning the orgasm i couldn't get this morning :(
Be quiet or buzz aldrin will come beat you up with science
Mom is so high she had to turn off the ceiling fan because it was going too fast and it freaked her out.
Randomize