I just googled the nutrition facts for a mcgriddle and yet I still want to go to mcdonalds
Thats how high i was. The fact that he looked like Seth Rogan was apparently a good thing.
for future reference: anal bleach BEFORE boozing
he stopped making out with me and said "can I make you grilled cheese? I feel like I owe YOU something"
I feel like the only solution to this is to get naked and lay in the shower for a hour then see what my penis wants to do.
For a limited time only, free special muffin with the referral of a loyal dro customer! Have it for breakfast and be happy off your ass all day! Guaranteed! New member must buy at least an eighth. Oh and O's are on sale for 280.
You. Win. At. Life.
Do you think if you have sex with a girl twin, her twin brother feels it to? Woke up at her house and they both have a look of disappointment on their faces.
I'm covered in European cum. How's your day going?
YOU LEFT MY FUCKING BRA OUTSIDE OF YOUR HOUSE AND NEVER TEXTED ME.
I downloaded the presidential playlists for offline listening. And Obama made a night one so we have presidential approved fuck jamzzzzz. Thanks Obama!
We fucked for 9 months, but he didn't want anything serious. So, I got rid of him and went on a date with a guy last night that looks like Kylo Ren. Who's really winning here?
dont go in the freezer to fetch your weed. my vibrator may or may not be in there. not sayin, just sayin
Saw throw up in the parking lot at work, glad I'm not the only one. But now the search begins.
Mary's wearing shades at her desk, brilliant!
I swam, I rode a bicycle, I rode a horse, I danced. It was like a real life tampon advert.
I was grinding with girl while I was eating french fries, and she turned around to hook up with me. She ate my fries.
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