I GPSed you we're an hour and 14min away from each other
and it's going to stay that way
"women exchanges sex for chips" on msnbc
damn even the hoes are getting hit by this economy
Just got a blowjob to the theme of Bohemian Rhapsody as the sun was rising. I should just kill myself because ill never top this moment.
Thanks for sticking it out with old horseface last night... I owe you one buddy.
Looks like a significant portion of my drinking money just became legal fees.
LSHMSFOAIDMT = laughing so hard my sombrero falls off and I drop my taco.
at first i was on the bathroom floor cuz i was hungover. now im just here because it is cool
We fed him just...so many bright colored crayons when he was blacked out. I hope he looks at his shits because this could be all for nothing
The funny part was that the cop pulled us over cause the park was closed, not because I had just come up from giving the guy a blowjob when the cop drove by.
Yeah, I probably need some combination of electric shock, massive quantities of LSD, and enough couch time time to make Woody Allen say "Enough".
Which one of you fucks put a bounty out on my brother's virginity?
Some guy I'd never met and didn't invite threw the punch bowl at the wall and set the plastic skeleton on fire. I don't think we'll be getting the full deposit back
You gonna smoke this blunt? Or are you gonna keep doing Kung-fu in my kitchen?
I think I offered a man a blowjob for his power ranger suite last night...
Im sitting on the floor of the hotel room eating nachos and drinking coffee. People should learn to embrace their hangovers
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