just saw a man remove a wedgie from his lady's ass. who says chivalry is dead.
we live in such a classy society.
I was mid-pee and he walked in, claimed he was looking for his phone, and then asked if we could hook up since we were finally alone.
so yall hooked up?
He puked at the bar then immediately procceded to slip in it, they loaded him up into a wheelchair, then the staff and myself walked him outside, all the while never having to pay for our tab. SO using this strategy again
This girl just introduced herself as Queefer Sutherland. She's on a roller derby team. What. The. Fuck.
he tried to do a one handed cartwheel to showoff but knocked himself out cold. fuckin jagerbombs will kill that man.
you're right. a strip only looks good in porn . mine just looks like a fucked up mullet
Grandpa just put 6 jello shots on his plate. My aunt tried to take them away; he flipped her off. Living in the retirement home has hardened him.
He said he didnt want to choke me, I said im sorry thats a deal breaker.
You spent like 10 minutes trying to hit a golf ball that was actually a cigarette butt. And then fell over.
Exactly best part of my night he took of his shirt and surprise traveler fanny pack
Brah, we should get a "do not disturb sign"... I can't have people knocking on the door while I'm high, it fucks with me way too much.
Sorry this is the worst night of your life and that you're being a baby about it.
Accidentally made a straight guy question his sexuality again. I really gotta watch myself.
Were we still high when we decided to break your leg?
He broke both of his legs jumping out of a window to escape a coyote.
Randomize