did you make any bad decisions?
many, i pretty much fell in love with a freshman...it doesn't get much better than that
is it bad that the only reason i knew what antidote meant in class today, was from years of playing pokemon?
If it wasn't obvious enough to the cops that she was drunk, she threw in, "I like the colors of the lights because it makes purple."
I'm not sure how appropriate a drug deal is while at a wake.
He told me the escort brought him pizza. Can something be sad and awesome at the same time ?
I love her to death but its like you have to do 5 lines of coke to be on her level.
The best part of last night was the women's softball game on the TV at the strip club
Do not shit in our house. There is no TP. I am walking to get more, if I do not return, I have probably died of dysentery after my last wagon wheel got stuck in a gulch. Tell Martha and Lou Ann that I love them, and that I passed away doing the Lord's work.
I was a little curious what "unspeakable" things he could possibly do to my feet
Got really high to see my fist college experience unfold. Too high to find my classroom but I found the McDonald's down the street
I'm sorry I couldn't bail you out, apparenty they dont take credit cards over the phone. Did you at least make any friends in jail?
May I make reservations with your penis for this evening?
I think I kinda scared him when I tried to wrap his snake around his dick while he was trying to nap.
Hey do u remember the time we used my mascara wand as a drink stirer?
I was pretty sure he wouldn't be into me after I fucked his brother, and then his best friend, and yet, here I am doing lines off his stomach
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