I was to big spoon the shit out of you right now
I'm so hungover and dru,k
He seems like he has feelings, which is completely unacceptable; esp for a boy in college.
currently walking past a fire hyrdrant with a hose already attatched.. this could be dangerous..
Hey Operation Dumbo Drop... FYI, when you select your date this evening, our doorway is 3'x7'
This weekend is gunna be a fucking shitshow. I don't even wanna know how many dicks will end up inside of me
You went to jail last night?!
Just a little bit.
I took my exam the next day still drunk and failed, but I kno for a fact that I filled in the bubbles for my name perfectly
It was so cute that he apologized for getting cum on my couch. If he realized how many guys had cum on that couch in the past year, he wouldn't have touched my vagina with a 10-ft pole.
We hooked up for a while and on his way out he high fived me and said "stay weird"
I can't sleep. My mind keeps asking "turn down for what?" but it won't accept any of my answers.
You give an incredible blow job. I wanted to make sure you know it was appreciated
If I get really high and watch Beauty and The Beast on our Netflx account, will you judge me?
Only if you start before I get home!
i feel like i got punched in the face....
you did....
Heard about your divorce. Let me know if I can do anything for you or your penis ;-)
That's the 3rd negative pregnancy test this month. I'm on a roll.
Randomize
