Wanna demo a makeout? Check box yes or no. Or maybe. Okay bye.
i have some very unhappy turtles in my backseat
he had a blacklight sublime poster, of course i had to do him.
Even his old football coach jokes about how big it is. I don't want to be alone in a room with him and that monster.
well if I unknowingly shoved my hand up someones ass, I'm glad it was yours
andd if someone unknowingly shoved their hand up my ass without me knowing, im glad it was you
After i black out, be a good friend and point me to the direction of a girl with daddy issues, any girl would do just fine
He was hiding behind my bedroom door. at noon. Wearing a t shirt. And a condom. Not attractive.
Too lazy to make dinner. Had chocolate and scotch instead. Check in with me in a half hour.
I don't know how we managed to stay up but we actually sat in front of her open refrigerator for god knows how long while she ate salami straight out of the package with her fingers and I laughed. It was a trainwreck.
Like, she can be the shepard of the gays. Delivering him unto homosexuality.
She was totally amazed that i had the pizza delivery timed to coincide with our nooner and that the delivery boy knew where the broom closet on the 3rd floor was.
Were you the one who yelled "FOR GLORYHOLE!" then punched a hole through my door?
Apparently I handcuffed myself to the dishwasher...
so you can go out and drink with me then fuck me, or you can come over when i get home and fuck me, or you can come over before and fuck me, or you can come over before and after and fuck me... so many fucking options
I THINK HE DOES. OMG!!!!! OMG I FUCKED A GUY W A FAKE LEG AND I DIDN'T EVEN KNOW!!!!!!????!!!!!!!!!
Randomize
