oh vodka. i could write you a sonnet.
I just remembered we said the Lord's Prayer before we went out last night.
Charging the asians next door to us $5 a page to print their final papers because theirs broke. Bars close in 2 hours, lets go
If fate has that penis in my future.....I'm down.
Hey we met at the bar a week ago. Your friend gave me a rose and you asked about my nipples.
Every part of me is in agreement...but mostly my vagina
well, I yelled "the tribe has spoken!" at a boatload of people and then I walked home alone in the pouring rain at 1:30am. karma really is a bitch, yo.
What the hell do I have to give up to manifest a dick
It's the 30 sec rule.... the worst that could happen is I could die
I panicked i brought burritos. Funeral burritos
One public bathroom does not equal a wedding vow
This might be the worst thing you've ever done.
Really? I feel like I've done worse. Guess I gotta step my game up.
That’s talent right there. Maverick and Goose type shit.
ALL I WANT IN MY MOUTH IS A GLORIOUS COCK SMOTHERED IN CHOCOLATE. DICK AND CHOCOLATE; IS IT TOO MUCH FOR A GIRL TO ASK FOR?!
I hate being the first one to text him all the time...I feel like Iook desperate to get laid when the reality is that im just really horny and he has a/c...
Randomize
