just do him I won't tell jon
um i'm guessing you meant to send this to tina, thanks for the support in our relationship you whore
Jack off faster Americas best dance crew is beyonce themed
TAKE DOWN THAT PHOTO OF ME IN THE NURSES COSTUME NOW.
I don't think its a good idea if I moon a whole bar again
She had a little wicker basket of condoms by her bed. Disturbing yet convenient.
His sister just told me that she thinks i'm a stupid bitch and that by going thru with this I'm ruining his life.
sounds like a hell of a rehearsal dinner
The bartender just asked me if I owned stock in Jameson. I've been here for less than an hour and he's already judging me.
Did I change midway through last night?
Seven times. The most notable outfits were UFC Fighter and Top Hat Viking
I almost stepped in a homeless mans stream of urine as he was peeing. I love this city.
You stole a fry from a complete stranger. He wasn't happy. Then you said fuck it and stole the whole poutine and ran down the street while he stared in shock.
I have a half pound of weed, a case of beer, 8 frozen pizzas and a hard dick. You have a high tech super-bong and a chest of sex toys. That's our vacation week right there.
are we fucking for lunch or am I using my vibrator ?
I've orgasmed so many times tonight I think I've become enlightened
I should be in a better mood, I just went home and had a quickie on my lunch break.
I had a sandwich.
I'm seeing how far I can grow my leg hair out before Jason will say anything. I'm up to an inch
Randomize
