No I remember falling down the stairs I just don't remember it hurting.
All he was doing was sitting in the car, staring. We asked him what was wrong and he just turned, smiled, and said "everything has its own pair of boots"
Okay my swimming class is like the fatass/diabetic guide to losing 2 pounds by christmas
I think I'm going to wait until after Halloween to call off the wedding. No need to ruin my favorite holiday.
It took him three days to realize his roommate had moved out.
hes the hot one from work who thought i was dead after my party
Even though he was watching you pee on his bedroom floor, you kept denying it and saying he was dreaming
He snapchatted me his dick and he's circumcised....BRB going to hug his Mom
I probably won't go. Last time I got drunk with those guys I just started demanding people let me touch their beards.Then I mocked everyone who didn't have facial hair.
I found my limit. I will not, in fact, blow my 78 year old professor for an A in his class.
Me and you. The most fucked up people on the planet drinking together. Hell yeah
moral of my life: don't tell a guy you want to have sex with him. he'll get back together with his ex.
I told my coworker that I'm going to a dinner party and was asked to bring wine and pregnancy tests and he was like.. I miss being 20
I see the guy who's been trying to get me to let him eat my ass became engaged on Facebook today; would framed screen shots be an appropriate wedding present?
Sara can't come to the phone right now. She's currently having an in-depth conversation with a flower pot.
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