Does it count as a shower if I just sat in the tub singing I'm a Little Teapot?
It was one of those "since we're naked anyway" type situations
My mom just told me to make sure my face isn't on the front cover of the newspaper on 4/21. Challenge accepted
Im drunk with people I love less than you. fix it.
don't worry i just saved a song to my personal usb drive to give to the dj at the bar. he's playing old school jlo whether he likes it or not.
Feel like I died but someone put me In a human microwave and I got back to life.
Remember last time I drank with my mom? I asked if I got my dick sucking abilities from her.
I have nothing to say for myself. When 2chainz comes on at the bar all bets are off.
When you and that girl went into the bedroom, you yelled "FOR NARNIA!"
How bad is it I'm looking at his cock while waiting to see my therapist?
sent a snap of my boobs out to my FWB his response was what happened to your other nipple ring.. how do I say it got ripped out by my other FWB last week without sounding like a slut
My Easter dress smells like alcohol, men, and bad decisions
Can my mom come with to the bar? Prince just died and I feel like I need to take her out to cheer her up.
I told him I want him to read me my Miranda rights while he's fucking me. Act exactly like he does while he's on duty except with his dick out.
I think he just shit his pants. Yep he did. That's unfortunate.
Randomize