Did I tell you he has dinosaur sheets?
I assume you are not resopnding because you are having sex thus i give you a text message high five
Pooping in your heated bathroom to the sound of rain and instrumental guitar might be the greatest experience ever.
dude sorry but u no that when a guys 'likes' ur pic on facebook it only means he was just jacking off to it.
my step dad just called me a drunken slut..someone in my family finally understands me
He kept yelling "osteoporosis" and threw milk at her because she broke her arm.
Hes still mad that I left the room mid-hookup to go get a pickle from the fridge.
Whatever. I'll just fuck him now and deal with the clingyness later.
It's 4/20. I'm not too worried about "healthy"
The owner was showing me around and pointed at one of the bars and said "this is the one you're allowed to dance on. I could tell you wanted to ask." DREAM JOB.
I dont have to work tomorrow im yelling gibberish at squirrels
This is like the first time all week I've properly taken my birth control. My ovaries are so stoked I just know it.
He let me eat chexmix while we fucked... I think I love him.
so let me get this straight you just stared at his boner all night?
Dude... this pee is not alleged
YOU SAT ON MY LAP!
Wuddup pee lap
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