The maid of honor just puked.
so i woke up this morning covered in mail. none of it is mine.
Turns out Woolite can get the cum stains out of her moms couch.
Apparently he ran around last night saying he was 'the hulk hogan of muff diving'
You tried telling the RA that girl you brought home was your mom...
I just used dish soap as body wash. I smell like a dishwasher exploded. isn't the end of the semester fun?
Someone apparently named 'eleaw' just text me asking if I had fun last night.
Can you give me a hickey quick? Im going to a white trash themed party. Completely serious
I'm gonna cougar town the shit out of that prom.
Any clothing i put on is too many clothes.
He just showed up with a bottle of wild turkey a half a can of coke and some marshmallows yelling "gobble gobble bitches" my roommates hate my cousin
Jesus, you make out with one twin then sleep with the other and suddenly they don't want to play soccer with you... Men can be so sensitive...
I mayyyyy have moaned a name that wasn't his
The body is still out there. I don't think my trainer realized when he asked me not to drink for 24 days, how often I see dead people
I haven't answered because I haven't figured out a polite way of saying fuck no
Randomize
