My hand turned me down
As a matter of fact my bong is named Hulkamania brother
Bouncy castle Catalina wine-mixer race for the cure. It will be as fun as it sounds
all 3 of us brought blondes home last night. all 3 are passed out. we're gonna switch rooms and see how long until one of them notices.
Hey, if I can't get it and you're still alive, can you get the glass out of my foot? Happy Sunday.
Probably not well advised, but you're welcome to stop by if your not ready to end your night. You know, for Thanksgiving's sake.
Girl it's 3:30 get your life together and come enjoy a bowl, some coffee and a brownie with me
The cops just came to this party I'm at and ate all of our snacks
Dude just crushed our bbq lays and told us to quiet down
I just need some dick and some jimmy johns
He hasn't responded in 6 hours and the last thing he sent me was a picture of 7 grams of coke. I'm getting kinda worried
Carver called his mom a milf again
Was it on purpose this time?
WHY DID YOU INVITE ALEX?!?
Because she offered to bring a keg.
And also because you fucked her in an alley last week and I'm trying to be a good friend.
We had a quickie at work in the office. He walked out before me, and I fell asleep while waiting a few minutes to walk out. Yeah. He's got that change your life dick
I prefer to think of hangovers as extreme sobriety, which can only be cured by more booze
I admit I fucked your best friend, but to be fair, you fucked the tristate area. So there's a good chance about 40% of those people are MY friends.
Randomize
