She asked the class if starwars was based on a true story...
i'm sorry i gave your brother a handjob while you were on the blanket next to us, but to be fair your back was turned.
NO. NO LET HIS PENIS TOUCH YOU.
Was this before or after he told that homeless man outside the bar about his past sexual experiences?
EARTHQUAKE STATUS DRINKING GAME
Seriously? He's going to use MY birthday sex as the opportunity to ask if he can pee on me?!? I let him, but wow talk about selfish.
I'm hiding her cosmo magazine. the only sex tip she needs is to not handcuff her boyfriend to her roommates bed and lose the key
Drunk me forgot I'm not an 18yr old raver anymore. Adult me is now in pain.
OH BABY IM HERE AND IN A BLANKET FORT
COME TO THE BLANKET FORT
When I picked you up, you were drinking Maker's Mark out of the bottle with a crazy straw.
True enough. Do you ever think that these girls grandparents ghosts are watching you masterbate to their granddaughters and look at you in Shame?
I added a U.S. Senator on snapchat....casual.
How does a face ride mean we're back together?
You drunkenly said something along the lines of "move forever" to the lady standing in your way. Needless to say you had too many mimosas at breakfast.
Safe to say we should stock up on nipple bandaids ladies
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