I just heard an old guy ask the chick he was with if she wanted to try ass to mouth...
thanks for that.
its always fun the next morning to look around the room and see where all the clothing landed.
her underwear stopped being sexy when i saw her pubes sticking out of the top.
My mom's mothers day present consisted of a card, chocolate and the rose bush I threw up in as I was getting in last night. She loved it.
I'm writing my will in case I die this week, it'll be saved on my computer under: little 500 death scenario
Calm the fuck down fatty, you can add creme de menthe to a vanilla shake any time of the year
So what's going on?
We hit boys town to get stupid. I mean invading Iraq stupid.
Shawn wouldn't stop singing about his cock on the ride home that night it freaked my girlfriend out how consistent he was
"Wine night with the girls" turned into me having to set an alarm in the bathtub this morning...
Ugh why can't people just be grateful for my penis
Word to the wise, never look up your hot young doctors on Facebook before you're discharged. You will find things and no longer be able to take them seriously.
I thought I needed to get laid. Turns out I just needed pasta.
I literally ended up in this basement and was tangoing w my friend and then I peed in a supply closet and had to be put to bed
I'm still thinking about that amazing orgasm last night. I literally heard angels singing "Hallelujah!!"
You fucked him, didn’t you?
He showed up at my house with tacos, rum and a negative Covid test. Of course I fucked him. I’m just a simple girl that likes tacos, not Margaret Thatcher!
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