that john and kate plus 8 dude has ruined asians for me
My BOSS just pulled out a box of Christmas stuff labeled reefs.
we're ranked number 5 for having the most pot in the country for a university school. idk if i should feel worried or just plain blessed.
We're friends with people in his circle of friends so we're half way in. It's like I've already given him a hand job.
I guess I'll put a green shirt on. Also, I just snorted some protein shake power. That doesn't have anything to do with St. Patrick's Day. I just wanted you to know in case i die.
Trying to coordinate a drug deal while taking a psych test is not easy.
I was cracking open beer cans, throwing them off the roof, and yelling "FRAG OUT!"
I had sex on the roof of the dorm last night ... I feel like a combination of spiderman and van wilder
After we had sex he told me it was a "goodbye gift". We haven't talked since.
That tampon felt like a stick in my vagina, I am never making a drunken tampon choice again. Friends don't let friends choose tampons drunk.
Lol I wish they went straight to your cock then shot out into my mouth like a cock nacho dispenser
I've finally given up enough on finals week to wear the same shirt three days in a row, because I didn't take my hoodie off for the first two.
What was my myspace song when I went away to rehab?
I am drunkenly riding a razor scooter up and down the hills of Cincinnati
What in the fuck are you doing with your life
Is 10AM too early for pizza and Dr. Pepper?
Only if 5PM is too early to be drunk. And when has that ever stopped us?
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