Guess who is high enough to buy Jingle All The Way?
i cant remember past the part when we filled his tub with skittles.
So what if i ate it off the ground. Its like i found a five dollar bill just laying there, in burrito form.
They let you pick the name that they announce for you at graduation. The professional world needs to prepare itself for papa smurf mcdonald.
It would be one hovered percent delicioui
He came inside me, looked me in the eye and said, "Happy Mother's Day"
I respect you for how well you shave your vagina. It isn't easy and my dick faces out, not in.
I don't even want to think about the kind of person who would shit in the street before 10pm on a Sunday.
I found him stumbling up to our building with a solo cup under his arm. . . He told me it was his favourite thing ever. He also told me hes never been drunk before.
We hit a golf ball off Brady's ass. His dignity flew away into the night.
He sent me a pic of her engagement ring and then STILL asked for nudes.
Well its official, I'm into significantly freakier sex than even I thought possible.
10 shots in she's sitting on the floor using the open dishwasher door as a plate to eat her "life giving" pizza.
She's going to jail in a few weeks but she just got a boyfriend. Yet I'm still single as fuck.
Like Napoleon Dynamite?
Exactly like Napoleon Dynamite
But with bacon.
Randomize
