morning outfit: hottub soaked skirt. no underwear. someone's bandanna worn as a shirt. took me an hour to walk home. this isn't fun anymore.
I hate myself for knowing the words to party in the USA.
Well, shes famous, an alcoholic, hillarious, and has big boobs.... Pretty much my only aspirations in life.
He kept spanking me and talking about biomedical science.
Aw, you fucked a pre-med? you're moving up in the world!
whatever, you made your decision to be a responsible student and where did it get you? a pushed back exam and no blowjob.
I guess it was to be expected that I was put on somebody's list called penis socket.
This is a test of Andrews drunk texting, had this been an actual drunk text, all the words would be spelled incorrectly and would be missing key verbs and nouns, followed by a request to not get fired.
There's a really old guy here with a really young girl. I'm guessing he has to make choo choo train noises to get his dick in her mouth.
No lie. I was hooking up with a former football player at UT and mid-hookup I yelled "I'M FRATERNIZING WITH THE ENEMY"
In honor of today being Sunday I am day drinking and watching Grey's Anatomy all day. ALL DAY.
She said she's different now I guess anytime you get a bible tatt it automatically cancels out all the whoring you did for 10 years
I mean. I just want to sit in my bed and eat bagels. What's wrong with that?
Sorry about the nipples in that snapchat. It was meant for the Australian.
We aren't doing Shrooms tonight bc that would be friendship cheating on you
I just chased my birth control with Smirnoff. Shit's about to go down.
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