I sold my books for weed money!
Finals don't start for a week...
i robbed the continental breakfast last night
she showed up with nothing but olive garden breadsticks in her purse.
I cleaned out the fridge, had to pound the brews. I am going to be wrecked for my final at 1
You have permanently scared my back with your nails. I would like to congratulate you on a job well done.
Let's paint friendship bongs
I woke up to find that chris drank one of my contacts.
Yeah he's good at that.
i'm soo broke, the only trip i can afford for spring break is acid
U offered to motor boat her and it somehow turned into u two going on a sunset cruise in Newport. At 3am.
I should've been more social I guess. I feel bad not meeting the people who willingly sucked alcohol out of my navel...
Definitely broke my toe and messed up my knee walking back. Drink hitch hiking should never happen again.
I kept having to give myself encouraging advice like, "you know how a path works"
My sister's exploding appendix just cock blocked me...
It’s like my vagina just knows when a man is a barrel-chested freedom fighter.
I currently hiding in an upside down garbage can please come find me
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