did you get engaged???
Forget about socially acceptable. Make me happy instead
even through the webcam i could tell he was aiming for my face/hair
Redeem this text for a blowjob
i just used a pokemon card to do blow. i need an adult. now.
Dude let's go to Saudi Arabia. They outlawed valentine's day. And probably love.
My roommate made me go home after I mooed at fat girls at the gas station.
allie, at least he made an effort and braided his goatee.
How could you give up sex for lent? I gave up religion for lent years ago and never looked back. Or give up civility, not sex.
Also, I've finally come to the point in the relationship when having sex with socks on is ok.
I said "sucks to suck" to a cop last night. We've been snapchatting.
I was walking back to the dorm and was made fun of for wearing a coat. I'M SORRY I CARE ABOUT MY WELL BEING.
I RAN OVER A NUN! I RAN OVER A FUCKING NUN! GOD WILL NEVER FORGIVE ME FOR MY SINS NOW!!!
Been smoking since 4. The inevitable finally happened: I bought a cheesecake.
Its that time in the evening when I've had a few cocktails and wish you'd make a video about the packers and Jack Daniels.
Randomize
