So I was just looking through the calendar on my phone seeing what day new years was on & on dec 31st at 9am it says "nude champagne toast". Guess we have to do it.
I made a google map for "places I got blow jobs"
Honestly, it was easier to just put it in my mouth than to deal with an awkward conversation.
you just kept yelling "siddle that plaza" til the cab driver said it back...
I need you to come over. Im crying, day drinking and working out simultaneously.
I got carried to one bar. Got a piggy back ride to the next bar. I was just testing our drinking team for st pattys day to make sure they are able to handle me more drunk than that.
There's a time and a place for everything. Except for getting wasted at a work event, puking in the parking lot, and sleeping in your car overnight.
When we picked him up this morning the cop said that if they actually arrested every drunk American who pissed on cathedral doors, Spain wouldn't have any room for real prisoners.
I swear to god little potato creatures live inside Belvedere bottles and claw at your throat as you swallow shots.
Well, if you're getting/have gotten your dick sucked, you're welcome. If not, I tried. Step up your game, pussy. I pulled a MacGuyver and got mine. No excuses bro.
The highlight of my night was when you proclaimed that the man standing next to you smelt like grape medicine...
It was the needle in the haystack of teary, unpleasant handjobs.
We had sex last night...... This "Friends" thing is going well.
I got caught throwing up in my daughters princess potty... On the bright side it played a rewarding tune afterwards.
Feel free to drag me back to reality at your convenience
Randomize
