If a girl drunk dials you she's at least entertained the idea of sleeping w/ you correct?
YES
Theres been so much buildup for our genitals to meet, one or both of us is sure to be disappointed.
well you decided to make everyone "drinks" which was sprite and beer mixed.
Please talk me out of ordering the stripper pole for a dollar. Please.
Good thing it was his birthday because I accidentally grabbed his dick at the bar. A lot.
She alternated between blowing me and feeding me bites of the sandwich she made for me.
Super awkward that I just now realized I added no verb to the first statement about super hero porn. We were watching it, not making it. Clarity.
When you can pee with one hand accurately while texting, you drink too much.
He crawled outside into the bushes to throw up. He's just laying there now but he says he'll be ready to come home if we just give him five
Note to self: don't practice nerdy white girl dance choreography in the company bathrooms no matter how nice the huge mirrors and lighting are.
i feel like spreading the word of drunken joy.
Idk my boobs are big but i dont think theyre hide a flask in them big..
The contents of my fridge consist of alcohol, Nuva ring, and cheesecake. I'm that girl.
I passed out with the lights and tv on woke up at 4am SO confused and covered in goldfish so I ate them and went back to bed.. fuck xanax
Went upstairs to make PopTarts, found the door open. Shut it. Saw a grey thing. Opened the door, found a girl sleeping outside. What the fuck happened last nigh
Randomize
