I just high-fived this girl after she swallowed.
So in our children's lit class, some jackass little boy had gone thru the where's waldo book and circled waldo. I realize you would have been that kid.
do people really wait til 5 oclock to start drinking in real life?
I'm by the dj to the left. Come get me now this girl is talking about baby names and I dnt even no hers
I can't see you
I'm the only one that's wearing a tarzan outfit get your ass over here you douche
Sorry about the picture of wills balls via snapchat last night btw
Omg this is like trying to sleep on a pile of ballsacks.
Sounds good. Look at us. Planning sex like proper adults.
It takes a special kind of Adderall to make me go to the hardware store, buy paint, and paint tiny polka-dots on all four of my bedroom walls.
she dared me to make out with the amish dude so I went up to him and grabbed him by the beard
GRABBED HIM BY THE BEARD
When I was sick she came over with Call of Duty, animal crackers and a handjob. Honor says I can't dump her until Easter
She said I'm going to get you stoned and have you fuck me on the couch.
Update: pile o Coke party starting at approx 4 - 7 and going until 1ish to celebrate our founding fathers and love of cocaine and hatred of everyone\n
Bra is off & I'm snuggled in a pizza. Adulting is good.
yeah true but how easily can you rip a scrotum
he was just sitting there in his underwear... and his chewbacca mask...
Randomize
