Is this going to be a big send off or a somber occasion? Just need to know if I should start drinking on the train or not.
and i forgot to tell you that my armpit hair is now completely grown back. man i love winter.
threw up in my backpack again. Asian guy I cheat from wasn't pleased.
just dropped my bong into 7 pieces, and carried the glass shards around my house. dad saw the blood dripping down my arms, and asked if i slit my wrists. way too high to laugh at this.
We were making out and then he stopped and said to me, "Your ship is right there, why don't you take your people and just go?"
What is wrong with this kid? He'll take ecstasy but won't take dayquil?
It's amazing the difference a day and 2000 mg of antibiotic make. Nine days to go.
Hungover snowboarding. Puked off the lift and traumatized a group lesson for kids. Crash course on adulthood.
Let me tell you how my drug dealer wants me to take his girlfriends little sister to jr prom
Just had a serious discussion with my ex-boyfriend about sexy nurse vs. sexy teacher. So score one for friendship I guess.
Just keep in mind that she didn't start telling you you had the largest penis she had ever seen until AFTER she found out about your multi-million-dollar trust fund.
Have you ever had chicken nuggets while high? Because it tastes like hearing the Beatles for the first time
I just announced to Denny's that I'm not wearing a bra.
For now I'm a single mom monday-thursday and a drunk looking for dick the rest of the week
It’s awful. They need to open the bars. I’m now trolling grocery stores looking for dick
Randomize
