its 10 pm and i am cleaning vomit off the ceiling. i am nowhere near drunk enough for this to be funny.
I'm celebrating tres de junio so if you can help me find some sombreros ill be grateful. Also, today in 1992 Aborigines were granted rights to their land so I might need some boomerangs.
Just went through campus. In the span of 2 min I saw 4 places I've had sex. And thats just down one street. Man do I miss college.
Is it hot in here? Is the room moving? Its moving. The room is moving. Its spinning like a top. Have you ever been covered in puke? What are you doing?
On a lighter note, the guy I gave a lap dance to then fell asleep on his crotch just facebook friend requested me..
I NEED YOU HERE TO KNOCK THE MALT BEVERAGES OUT OF MY MOUTH
No celebraish? But today's the day that Jesus, Bruce Springsteen, and a flock of bald eagles came down from the heavens in fighter jets with electric guitars and M-16s a blazon, saying "Hey America, fuck the Red Coats, it's time to party"
He is currently in a meeting and I am sexting him in Italian
And he's using Google translate to reply. Who says cross country relationships can't be fun?
Is it too early in the day to be getting dressed for the strip club?
I was angry that a college kid had a new Audi
so I peed on it
FINALLY GOT MY TENTH DICK. PARTY FOREVER
My roommates don't agree with the whole tv in the bathroom idea. Fucking barbarians.
you walked into the party, and all you had on was your left sock... literally.
i'd like to schedule a penis for 4pm please.
Skipping class. Wanna Drink now?
yea. just give me 15 min to write a paper.
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