that's just what I need...drunk ass people throwin hatchets in the dark.
Is it wrong that I didn't stop masterbating when the credit card company called?
did you answer or finish?
both
I fell asleep to the sounds of them banging in the next room. It was oddly soothing...
In honor of the internet blackout, I think everyone needs to change their Facebook pictures to ones of them being blacked out.
doing an easter egg hunt in a liquor store right now. i feel so adult
accidentally stumbled into a construction site at 3am on the way home. The bulldozer was locked so we had to settle for rerouting traffic with all the orange cones...
I'm on the struggle bus
just ordered a number 1 at a fast food restaurant that doesn't have numbers
I need to think of the best way to tell this boy he's not getting his pants back
How am I so hungover that wearing sunglasses hurts my head?
Although I would ideally cut back on smoking weed, imagine what getting high and looking for our spirit animals would be like
Realized it was likely to be cursed, didn't want my own Johnson magically turning into some sort of fire breathing reptile and eating me
That is an interesting fear as well as image
Hold on. At Sephora trying to decide what despair smells like.
Please tell me im imagining that i claimed that i was king of the ducks.
I left him naked in his bed. I did cover his junk with a blanket in case his roommate walked in later though. so I don't feel as bad about it.
HILY FUCK HES HERE I HAVE MONISTAT IN ME HE SUPRISED ME
Randomize
