there is this woman at the counter who looks identical to linda ellerbee. and she's grinning. COME. INSIDE. NOW.
shouldn't i get a discount if shes pregnant?
Hes still not moving. At what point does 'hungover' become 'hospital-time?'
So I came home baked last night and made about 60% of my jeans into jorts...
Retelling stories from our semester makes me realize we need to get tested for herpes.
i just had a pap smear and two shots. lets hit the beach.
You know that joke about taking tylenol pm and jerking off? you don't always win. sometimes you wake up in the morning naked lubed up cock in hand to the realator and would be perspective buyers laughing at you
she left around the point i tried to tie her hair around my dick
Getting cock-blocked by Jeff Bridges. NOT OKAY.
Her boobs take up a lot of room so God had to skimp on the brains
There is blood on the door to my room, I have to go to sleep
He told me his cum shot melted the paint on his bedroom wall and asked if I want to see it
Well I'm missing half a toenail if that's any indication of my night
Alcohol and IMDB don't always mix with 100% accuracy
I don't want to just hook up with random dudes. I've had enough bad sex to know that it's not worth hooking up with strangers
It's not?
Randomize
