OMG Im so trashed fishy! im sitting hereon my bed wif mcdonalds n i look like david hasselhoff!!!!!! kill me now
I dunno... she just cried a lot and I kept sighing.
dude sorry about putting my finger in your butt last nite i was wasted and thought it was mine
is it bad that I sent her a picture of my penis on her husbands birthday?
So it wasn't until I came that he pointed out the glow in the dark plastic star still stuck to my forehead. Fun times.
he kept bringing up different times we had sex and i wouldnt say anything back. i would never confirm nor deny the situation...like a politician ya kno
it's pretty bad when you go in bed bath and beyond and recognize 6 different bed spreads you've had sex on
People spilled so much that there was a thin film of beer on the floor. You took a running start, screamed, "SLIP AND SLIDE!" and slid face first through the drywall.
Nah I've been there. The worst you'll see is some hobo peeing in a sewer at 3 am on a Saturday
Your fuck buddy is making you watch the OC. I think that counts as strings attached.
My coworker's brand new computer showed up today. He's on vacation for the next week. Brian and I are installing Windows 98 on it.
just reached the point where my breast implants paid from themselves in free drinks.
If me saying "come f***k me now" is talking, then yes.
I have to close one eye, because I don't wanna see two movies, I only want to see one.
Took my nervous poop earlier then expected it's gonna be a good day
Randomize
