I just woke up with a girl who has left and right tattoed on her wrists. In french. I may need to stop drinking.
Eric got herpes from Jo-ann
That's what he deserves for hooking up with a french canadian
You got ahold of his prescription papers and gave out prescriptions for cranberry and vodka
Condom broke. Took her to CVS for plan B and parked in expectant mothers spot. I laughed.. she cried
i have a picture in my phone of you with a bottle of tequila in your back pocket. i believe you were saying "pocket of champions" or something along those lines
Fucking him was like shopping for my first training bra.. Embarrassing yet extremely useful
Glad we went casual last night, made my 1pm walk of shame through Walmart a little less obvious
I don't think there was a moment this weekend where grey goose did not course through my veins
I just called him "young grasshopper" in a conversation. THIS is why I don't get numbers when I'm sober
She had sex in a public bathroom and slept on a couch in the dorm lobby. It's only Monday
the day has come. I have finally reached the point in my life where I just don't give a fuck about anything anymore. it's beautiful!
tonight at the bar some people told me that I have a sprit following me around.. that's the kind of shit that you laugh off till you're home alone.
after sex he fell asleep with his water bottle in one hand and his dick in the other at 6pm. I'm a winner.
Yeah I know my dick is weird, but I've surprisingly had a lot of fun with it.
Change of plans & whoring it up tonight
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