He had rug burn on his nose from my landing strip
6 other girls and I took an ice cream truck to the bar when we couldn't get a cab. Best birthday ever.
Just found pics of us from Mardi Gras last year. Your boob job really is better than mine.
She's yelling about threesomes and realllly wants you to come over. Put the pieces together.
He hit on a bridal shower w/ his hand on my tit the entire time. Gave his number to the mom.
Also, I don't remember opening my gifts from my family. It was cool when I woke up with a new ihome.
good news: I made it out of bed and into shower. Bad news: I made it back to bed without clothes. Worse news: I don't know this bed.
I'm pretty sure they had a hash wedding cake. I love college weddings.
I mean I'm screaming I love the gays in the middle of Bart so yeah
He's wearing my bra and eating a breadstick while jumping on our bed.....
Pretty sure we had a civil war reenactment in your kitchen at 4am.
That would explain the cannon.
can we drink soon
I'm not sure who this is but I'm free tomorrow night
Angels sing when his face is between my thighs. I came 3 times before he even came up for air.
He asked me to describe my life outside work. I responded with "Home-wrecker.
I expected my Sunday morning walk of shame dressed as a sexy Dorothy would get some scorn, but nobody seems to even care
That’s because it’s 2020. The slutty costume walk of shame is a refreshing reminder of a time when wearing masks and catching communicable diseases was a right of passage, not everyday for the foreseeable future.
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