I don't think I can get bothered with getting laid tonight
i found literally half of a double sided dildo in my shower. i guess someone went home happy.
ugh, today is just one of those 'get high before your 8am class' days.
just paid a stripper to have a minute conversation about the arizona game WTF
Apparently i was peeing on things and marking my territory. I broke their light socket too. Needless to say im banned from their apartment.
I saw the video from Saturday. So, how much did I drink for me to think I was a duck and strip my clothes?
he even offered to make my bed in the morning.
There are so many Jimmy John's employees here
Where are you?
Jimmy John's.
You don't understand. If you watched a video of the shenanigans that occurred in my life over the past 48 hours you would gasp worse than the girl who witnessed me puking in my bag at the children's hospital
The number of times I have seen your cock and the number of times I have wanted to see your cock are different!
What I'm saying is DOWNGRADE. Like, do you see the caps lock?
You must be buzzed on Miller Lite.. Zen master advice is flowing
We hooked up last night. I think it was great for our friendship.
We will walk in fields of dick.
You seriously need to stop quoting those songs when i'm with my parents.
I need more than 2 fuckable people this is an outrage
Randomize
