I can’t believe the potential orgy I left behind at Waffle House.
My superpower would be to be able to make a chick instantly start her period just by thinking about it
it was average length and chubby
so kinda like him?
now i'm wondering if all guys are shaped like their penis...
Wait, we're on the hunt for addys and explosives. They're both in this house somewhere.
i like him when i'm sober AND when i'm drunk.i've been searching for this my whole life
I have a page in my 2010 scrapbook dedicated to pictures of his cock.
i will trade you pizza and a blowjob for a fifth of vodka.
do i get to eat the pizza while you give me the blowjob?
There are reggae songs being written about me...where have I gone wrong in life?
I heard from the downstairs bathroom "WHY CAN'T I WIPE MY ASS IN PEACE!" and a pisscrate of glass bottles breaking
I'm here. Help me get the salsa and bong inside.
You took nana to a bar?!
she suggested it
i woke up this morning from the best one night stand. i made the guy mickey mouse pancakes for breakfast and when i walked back into the bedroom he said "marry me"
Just had the biggest masturbatory crisis ever.
What does that mean?
Internet is down.
He’s tiny, hairless and humps my leg when he wants sex. He’s basically a chihuahua
I peed in my closet, which at the time looked like a sparkly bathroom...
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