Ill pay your DUI fine if you just come see me nooooowwwww
no. its 2:30am and im not going to jail for a booty call
i just hate vaginas for liking penis's insside them
i was concerned by what you said you would do for a snickers. It wasn't even a Klondike bar.
Come scavenge bits of tuna out of my chest hair
Right, because I totally see myself driving all the way down there to fuck his world famous penis.
Nah I'm perfectly content solely banging the married bartender once a week.
That's practically a relationship for you
I just got checked out by a paramedic whilst their sirens were on. I'm doing something right
I feel like i could break down a fucking wall with this boner
Soooo, coming over soon?
Haha, I gave you the rest of the cash I had on me and you bought 3 shots for yourself and beer for everybody except me FUCKFACE.
Also the bouncer Straight up told me my id was shitty and I should get a new one. But he let me in anyways because #boobz
I should become her mentor. Get her life back together for her
You mean sponsor?
I'm serious. I have boob tassles if this is an exchange thing.
ive decided that just saying "yes" when people assume I am something other than Caucasian will highly benefit my love life. last night I was native.
Learn from my mistakes. DO NOT try to steam a garment of clothing while you are wearing it. The burn is not worth the de-wrinkle.
you asked me how to turn on the ladder
Randomize
