I was just walking through Burbank and saw a hobo using solar panels on his shopping cart. We must be in trouble if the hobos are researching alternative sources of fuel...
foreplay: 7 minutes. sex: 3 minutes. cuddling: 10 minutes. getting dressed: 5 minutes. commute: 5 minutes.
fter the third song from an iPod commercial played I realized how much that frat sucked.
Just stepped in shit. Not sure if its mine or the dog's. Get some of our friends on the way back from work and just have the intervention now. I will totally understand.
Alcoholism comes in two forms... Us.
Well regardless of which drugs we choose to do tonight until four in the morning, we are having a wii bowling championship. So choose carefully.
You don't realize it's a small world until your ex girlfriend's dad unintentionally messages you on grindr..what.the.fuck.
I just spent 20 mins in the shower washing n rewashing my body to get rid of stripper. I even loofa'd my face.
I was woken up at 6 am by a second grader trying to give me a sweatshirt for a pillow
Is using cherry lube as jam shameful or hilarious
Which one of you fucks put a bounty out on my brother's virginity?
I'm super disappointed in my clit.
He showed up at my house with roses and a bottle of vodka... to watch a movie. obvi i took the vodka and didn't sleep with him
is it bad that im laying on a beach towel in my room with my lights on high pretending to be tanning on the beach in the summer?
He's the first boyfriend I wouldn't cheat on. This is a really big deal for me
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