Operation extremely regretful is in full effect
Is it wrong to scream your own name when about to bust?
I'm currently imdbing Helena Bonham Carter to see if there are any pictures of her that don't scare the crap out of me.
Good luck with that.
Everytime she tries to call me all I can think about is when she tripped walking down my steps during her walk of shame. Then I laugh until it goes to voicemail
im just sayin im driving an hr to pick her up, just cause shes your gf doesnt mean i shouldnt be entitled to a bj
He's asking if he can send a dick pic. How do I politely decline that?
We went to the casino to try to earn enough money to go to new Orleans comfortably. I'm already drunk. This is a horribly immoral start to summer.
You were holding up a boot and yelling boot gang
They don't even know who I am but they just woke me up with maracas and invited my boobs to a kegger
I told her I wanted to use him as a chew toy while simultaneously licking his face.
Did she tell him? And if so, was he cool with it? If yes, date him, date the fuck outta him.
Honestly I was sitting in managerial accounting thinking "I really need to get my shit together and stop drinking so much wine." But when you asked I realized... it's wine. It's always a yes.
He sent me a picture of his dick as a snake, I'd say things are going great.
just put a ruler in a cup trying to measure how much ivve had to drink..... God help me
My hook-up from last week somehow found me at the club, saw the girl I was trying to fuck, kissed me right in front of her, and walked off.
found a note from drunk me saying "don't worry i fed the mice". WHAT MICE?
Randomize
