One of my students just wrote an essay on how ninjas, like drug addicts, must realize they need help before they can get better...I gave it an A+
making cat noises will not fix the situation.
Sex should be hot, sweaty, messy, and a little painful. At no point should it involve tiny rocks
She just said she finds Tyler Perry funny... this is not going to work.
I'm cleaning my bathroom. That being said I found a klonopin and dropped it and stepped on it. Floor is clean im gonna snort it.
sometimes when you're high at work you just have to say fuck it and eat the dog treats
NATIONAL GIVE A BOSTON COP A BLOW JOB BITCH ROAD TRIP NOW
I'll ask around, all of my friends have girlfriends now for the most part though so they're all dead inside
Im sorry i offered the man at mcdonalds your hand in marriage in exchange for some french fries
She just walked up to him and was like "you should fuck Angela" and it worked! She is the ultimate wingman
Saw a girl lying on her back next to a fire hydrant. Not sure if passed out drunk or sleeping under the stars
wait nvm its a dude
They're magnificent. It's like god made her last but hadn't fulfilled his boob quota.
If you're wondering about the mess, we had sex in the kitchen. There was noodles involved.
You were cussing me out in sign language, and slurring your signs.
That's some kind of record drunk there...
my dad just built a flame thrower.. you should probably get here
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