PS - I'm in bed with an 18 yr old-am I a cougar?
No - puma.
Dude, don't freak out but the girl who stuck the hair brush in her ass is here. I can't look her in the eye!!
The guy I fucked in the port a poty just called me and asked me on a date!
Awkward!
No he was cute and I said yes!
I got tired of walking to the bathroom that I decided to throw up in a cup. I now have 3 cups full of vomit on top of my mini fridge
I found him in the livingroom trying to soak up broken glass with the clock from the kitchen.
According to the red cross, I'm not suppose to do anything strenuous for the next 24 hours. That means you're on top.
just once I'd like to not pass out before we leave the designated pre-drinking place
Bro, if we got a house, it'd basically be a revolving door for slightly overweight, but extra cute, sexually deviant girls with daddy issues.
I've only hooked up with engineers this year and it may be the best future financial decision I've ever made
You don't know bruises until you've been banged by 3 drunk bagpipers in the back of thier bus
So, I ran into Garrett last night in the laundry room.
Oh really? First post break-up run in. How'd it go? Awkward?
Um. We had sex on a washing machine.
I just Spray tanned myself while high as fuck its either going to look like a work of art or terrible graffiti
Goat in kitchen.....explanation?....
She is crazy bro, she'll kiss me after eating her ass but looses her fucking mind if I double dip a french fry in "our" ketchup!
His mom just pulled off a quadruple cockblock. I'm not sure if I'm mad or impressed?
Randomize
