don't get me wrong, i like my boss a lot, but not enough to not bang his daughter
Sorry I couldn't answer your call, I'm expecting a call from Chris Hansen.
I'm guessing you didn't end up going to the bar last night.
Nope. Ended up at what I believe was a slumber party down the street.
I just spent a chunk of my Christmas money on Plan B. I don't think that's what my relatives had mind when they said "spend it wisely", but hey, it was a good investment considering the bad life choices i made last night.
dude literally just took me 4 trips to take out the recycling from last night. we need to have parties like this more often
So the contents found in my winter coats this year: coat 1, condom and 10$. Coat 2, condom and 75$ check. Coat 3, 2.05$ and a sunflower seed.
Obviously coat 3 had the best time since you used the condom and all of the money
Kripsy Kremes at our place, bring your own coffee. And your own donuts because these ones are ours.
You just kept yelling and saying, "IM NOT GOING TO STOP YELLING UNTIL YOU TAKE THAT SHOT"
Dude it's SB. It's a proven fact that all you need to survive on is beer, weed, chips and maybe some amphetamines
Adults smoke weed in footie pajamas man. You just gotta accept me for who I am.
Where were you last night, and why am I not surprised that drag queens were involved?
Gave up on finding an ashtray.... just started flicking it in my purse.
I'm driving to his house to eat chicken and hopefully have an orgasm
I got snowed in at my parent's. everyone's asleep so I'm smoking a joint in my old room and watching Tarzan on a 12" tv.
They must be so glad to have you home...
Apparently I called down to the hotel front desk and begged them to bring us pizza. They brought us tea.
Can you pay somone's bail with a credit card or just cash? I feel like you would know this.
Randomize
