Starbucks introducing alcohol. i hear angels singing.
our drinking schedule never changed, we just drank at work.
I made $300 today by selling pizza @ $4 a slice to nerds who refuse to leave the library. God I love finals time
Did you write "I hope this gives you aids" on my box of capn crunch?
I woke up with her little sister yelling "she's dead !!" from the bathroom doorway.
She fucking ripped my chandelier out of my ceiling. How does that make her a keeper?
He just called me juicy booty via text message.
uh, 3 redbulls and 400mg of caffeine pills and i still feel like life is in slowmotion..lets not take tranquilizers again.
That is NOT what pussyfooting around means. Try that again with your toe and I break it off.
But in defense of this shit summer we've had, I totally perfected my shotgunning skills. I have achieved my summer goal.
yeah im watching him make his speech now. cant take him seriously tho. hes talking about funding for education and all i can think about is how ive seen what he looks like wearing womens underwear...
I'm starting to think that Cosmic Steve ripped me off
I think I might start referring to your vagina as a separate being now
Let's take a shot for every time we've said "I don't want to get that drunk tonight"
sometimes i like to lay one the floor and pretend im a carrot.
Randomize
