This is not my ceiling
She STILL went home with me even when I said yes when she asked if I had an infectious disease. Turns out she asked if I had an infectious spirit...well she has my infectious spirit now
So much for the toy store...Not a butt plug in the entire place. See you tonight.
I woke up and went to my kitchen naked and decided I wanted a fruit cup. Ate said fruit cup. Look over and notice my male neighbor is staring at me
i woke up to the sound of my roommate climbing onto my desk mumbling that she was going to bed
If he thought that flying across an ocean to visit me in London constituted sex, he thought wrong.
HOW ARE YOU ALWAYS DRUNK? AND WHERE ARE TOU TRYING TO GO??
My mom was looking at curtains for me and sent pictures and I had to be like "not the Disney princess pink and purple, more like an acid trip"
im not trying to sound dramatic, but im covered in microwavable lasagna
I keep thinking your bag of thongs is a bag of chips. So mad I can't eat them.
found $100 my ex got arrested and I can receive free health insurance I gotta tell ya 2014 is really going to be my year
I can make a sex schedule on Excel and send it to you guys
I almost had a threesome in a giant beanbag chair. I love college.
So was this before or after he cried about trump?
After
i ate her out in full view of all her roomates. the word awkward doesnt even cover it.
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