Just saw a girl that looks like Michelle Obama and Im strangely aroused by her. Does that make me a democrat?
My dick has been asking about u. He said he didn't do anything wrong n I'm a dumbass
I spent all day at the mall with her, then she made me actually watch a walk to remember then decided to tell me she was on her period. This one is either really crafty or I am really desperate.
I've had cake for breakfast the past 3 days. You tell me how bikini season is going.
She is two pictures of justin bieber away from being blocked from my news feed
Chances are I'll be there for your wedding. Camelbaks filled with jack and coke are appropriate attire, right?
What do I wear to meet his family/put his dog to sleep? Is there even an appropriate outfit for this occasion?
She basically needs a man who will never act up and take all of her shit
I'm even having trouble finding a guy who's taller than me with no unibrow.. someone needs to tell her its time to lower her standards
We couldve played the bring a random boy to lunch game but i made him go home
if i cared i wouldnt have woken you up by pouring a bottle of soy sauce on you.
is that what this stuff is?
We're fucking and Lee Greenwood God Bless the USA comes on and he came. It was the most Roll Tide America moment of my life.
But on the plus side, what he lacked in size he made up for with speed. And grunting.
The uber man and I sat in silence. With my underwear in my purse and my dress shoved in the pocket of the hoodie the guy gave me.
It involves me, my best friend, and a stripper and her mother.
Change the sheets & put your dick in the dishwasher. I'll see you in an hour.
Randomize
