Spring semester is just not the same w/o you
At my boss' house at a bbq. Had a few beers. Taking a poop - there's no TP...this is my nightmare.
he asked me out through an event invitation on facebook, the title read Romantic Dinner For 2
i dont care about people's attitudes as long as they give me head
I just made bacon chili cheese fries for dinner...someday my kids are going to realize I'm a stoner & this will all make sense
Home safe. Took me everything not to stop and pick up some random cat that looked like an ocelot tho.
I just made an agreement with this milf to shoot her daughters wedding in exchange for blow jobs. Going pro was the best choice I ever made.
Oh my god. A memory of last night just came to me. One of our neighbors joked about Thomas having a big dick and I just kept shaking my head profusely.
According to him, i kept saying "I'm belligerent as SHIT" and tried to run around the house in just my bra and underwear. Thats when they decided to carry me to the car and take me home.
I like literally had a visual image of his penis going into your soul
NATIONAL GIVE A BOSTON COP A BLOW JOB BITCH ROAD TRIP NOW
Didn't pick classes because we were out all weekend...only open course is "alcohol and drug problems". Fucking ironic.
So by "wait for me" do you think he meant "Don't have sex with random dentists?"
Conference sex doesn't count if the dentist doesn't know your name.
I keep picking up boring men who literally just want to cuddle. HOW AM I THIS BAD AT GETTING SEX?
Of course he’s picking me up at the airport. I taught him the Lotus position last time we had sex.
Randomize
