WHO ATE OUR COOKIES WHAT THE FUCK THOSE WERE GOURMET
He has 250 profile pictures. Of course he was a douchebag
you are the best fuck buddy i could have, all the others get feelings and morals involved
He blow dried my hair while I sucked his dick. Now THAT'S fucking teamwork.
Its official. 'Jingle Bell Rock' gives me a boner. Thank you Lindsay Lohan & Rachel McAdams.
We fucked in my basement while hiding from the cops.. And now his Facebook picture is him and others holding up there MIP's in front of my house.. I feel obligated to add him as a friend.
PRINCE HARRY WAS AT WAL MART SO NEXT TIME YOU BITCH ABOUT GOING TO WAL MART REMEMBER THAT EVEN PRINCE HARRY GOES TO WAL MART.
She said she'll drive over, bang, and then head home. It's like ordering a pizza.
I remember it because it was right after the sadness and right before the sluttiness. The calm before the storm if you will
Last night I dreamed that I got eaten out by Lego Harry Potter.
No. Nooooo. No way. She looked like Amanda Bynes. The recent one not the one from All That.
Of course I'm going to see her again. She had waterproof handcuffs in her shower.
I still don't understand if he's using me to write his resume or if we're dating
Because talking after sexting is equivalent to cuddling after sex
While the cops were busting my party one of them said. O you have an Xbox? Do you play online? Whats your gamertag?....
Randomize