Omg I just drooled on the screen of my phone from smiling with my mouth open while textin bahahahaahah
worst experience of my life. her nipples were sick. kinda like a venn diagram
Brogan sounds similar to Bridget...sorta.
Every girl's name is automatically translated to "Baby/Milk Carrier" in my brai
John Mayer's mother should have swallowed him when she had the chance.
As in blowjob or cannibalism?
I was thinking blowjob, but either would've been a better idea than giving him a record deal.
Covered in glitter and dick. 2010 feels a lot like 2009.
He kept saying it was because he was allergic to the chicken. Then he threw up on my mom.
I woke up to blood crusted on my face. I don't understand
team rage. no explanation necessary
Charles Darwin would shit his pants if he saw that we managed to survive that weekend.
The van in front of me contains people having SEX. I am in full view of a SEX VAN.
Get the fuck back here. Your brother taped bottle rockets to the front of his scooter and is bombing around screaming, "Rest in peace, Goose!"
Napping in front of family members can be embarrassing when you get a christmas boner in your sleep
a large sweaty girl i dont know is sleeping in my bed. A scotish man and a small child looking dude are on the couches im on the floor sleeping and im ok with it
I never thought my selfie stick would come in handy for nudes.
My day so far: morning after pill and pancakes. Living the dream.
I think/hope James is drunk. He's standing in the front lawn loudly declaring "I AM a popsicle!" Over and over....
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