Sophomore year, I fucked on your desk chair. I'm sorry. I love you.
u got into a flexing contest with a dude in bathroom in the mirror at the club
I just had a 30 minute conversation about hummingbirds. That high.
I miss high conversations.
Swinging. Is. Amazing.
By this time tomorrow I expect us to be sitting at the kitchen table either playing a drinking game, or crying. Set an alarm
do you think a sharp knife would stab through a cheese suit?
It's all good. The CSI guy came and I played the theme song while he in was in our place. The cops even laughed.
you know what would be perfect? if you flew in on a horse/cat holding taco bell and then you swooped me up and took me to disney world and it was magical
Apparently you missed the drunkest me ever documented. I slept on the hardwood floor and left my pants on the porch to give u a frame of reference.
I thought you wanted to talk?
What part of "Lets have angry sex" means I want to talk?
How much do souls cost? I feel like I need one if those.
That said I did get head on the roof of a 15 story building which, regardless of quality, is still cool
Im pretty sure breakfast wine is a thing, and if it isn't, I just invented it
still can't believe dude took a personal call while he was balls deep in my mouth.
I gave him a BJ in the shower
I just fell and it seemed like a good idea when I was down there
Someone made a mask out of a crown royal bag. Can't decide if tacky or awesome.
Randomize