was it more than 30 minutes?
ya
then you're in a relationship
haha you were so trashed that you deleted all of your christian music from itunes and kept saying"c-ya God, nice knowin ya"
What can i say, inner beauty is great but it makes a hard picture to jack off to
He woke up, mumbled "silverware", and went back to sleep
I walked home with an awkward asain couple. There was a language barrier but I think we're friends now.
As a fat white girl from Texas I can honestly say that she gave fat white girls from Texas a bad name.
You know you're old when tea and a hot bath are more appealing than beer pong with lesbians.
Come to my pity party. It's being hosted in my basement. The theme is ambiguously sexual cuddling and wine.
She doesn't even know his real name...he just keeps calling himself Hans the Third
You should make us a hot pocket to split while I go throw up.
who orders an old fashioned in 2014? even my Grandparents think you're an asshole.
She's really sweet and cute, but when she drinks, she becomes way too proud of her bush.
Charles Manson is Getting Married and I stare down at my tits and wonder how I am possibly single.
just because you have a nice tits it doesn't make you a magic little snowflake.
I should not be allowed to reproduce. The world doesn't need my sarcastic asshole demon spawn in child form
Randomize