He asked for his proof of insurance and he pulled out a Magnum by mistake. All of the sudden gignger was looking real good to me.
im holly from the hills drunk
you were carrying a trash bag around insisting it was your purse. I'll let you guess how your night went
I will return your cat, I saw a mouse in my apt last night and your door was unlocked, it seemed really practical
he couldn't find his key, so we just had sex on his parent's porch while we waited for his mom to get home.
Our cab driver just admitted to beating up kids in the 60's who didn't smoke pot...
his blanket is still in the back seat of my car, its like a constant reminder of his small penis
Cant wait to drunkenly tell by kids that i banged their aunt katie in a weird threesome
he said he'd buy me TWO burritos if I took my shirt off
Germany has fetish clubs for everything. We are going to Germany. Germany is our friend.
I sent dad a photo of my graduation certificate from drug therapy class. It was his birthday so it seemed appropriate.
The owner was showing me around and pointed at one of the bars and said "this is the one you're allowed to dance on. I could tell you wanted to ask." DREAM JOB.
I think it was a low point but honestly at this point I've had so many that my life is like a valley
I told him I wanted to fuck him and he hasn't texted me back in 4 days...am I missing something
UPDATE: THERE IS ASS EATING. I REPEAT: THERE IS ASS EATING.
Randomize
