My mom came into my room and told me to flip off the tv. I gave it the middle finger. Note to self: STOP SMOKING THIS SHIT
I swear ... this hickey is a map to Amelia Earhart's whereabouts
his penis is PERFECT
I want to put it in a shoebox and place cottonbls around it to protect it from any harm
or knit it little hat
this cock blocking thing really has to end bro...its one thing to tell jen i live with my mom.. its another to cut the brakes on my car..
Puuuub goooolf. Being trashed at 830 never felt so right
Dude what hole are you on?....and its 9:15
hole5. 2 under par. irish nachos
I remember all the people and all the acts I just have to match the person with the act
YOU WERE HAVING SEX IN THE SAME BED I WAS SLEEPING IN. AND YOU GRABBED MY HAIR. OF COURSE I'M PISSED.
ripping the fire alarm off the wall probably seemed like a better idea last night than it really was.
I woke up this morning with a sharpie tramp stamp. Pretty sure it's a picture of a squirrel.
For context, I was hiding under the pong table mooing at everyone by that point.
Ate his Chinese food and drank his beer and played with his chihuahua. All while wrapped in a towel while he was sleep.
We are the rockettes of vaginal bleeding
Yeah I don't think your wife thinks it's a good thing that you're fucking your cousin.
He doesn't have much of a personality but he makes up for it with his sexual prowess
keeper.
I just snorted sandwich everywhere.
I hope it smells nice :)
IT DOESN'T BECAUSE I HAVE MEAT COMING OUT OF MY NOSE, DAMNIT.
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