I totally got off with my controler for my ps3. Soooo glad I ended up with that racing game for Christmas.
he was like "finding out that arrested development was cancelled" bad
your friend did not want a bj. we need to leave. this is very awkward.
I like that we've become good enough friends again that I can make fun of your penis without it being awkward
I found him passed out against a dryer in the girls washroom, in front of an old woman was trying to figure out how to dry her hands.
1) I'm a decent drunk texter. 2) My world is spinning. 3) I'll give you a dollar and a hug for a glass of water. 4) I love you. 5) Example: your penatrive ways are overwhelming my alternative lyfestyle. 6) That is all.
7) Noodle arms: engage
The example was me just using big words while hammered. You're welcome. Ambidextrious. I spelled it right.
Now theyre filling the kiddie pool water with boxes and boxes of jello powder and im not sure if thats a sign i should leave or what
its gotten to the point where if her hand isn't on my butt i think we're in a fight
Note to self: Never spend $8 on a liter of rum again
Right as the plane left the gate the brownies kicked in. I dont think the guy next to me appreciated my engine noises as we took off
Sorry it's taking so long, it's harder to take an ass pic with an iPad than you think
Hey, it's all about finding the bright side. And boobs are definitely a bright side.
Is there a tactful way to ask "how are your balls?" Or do I just ask point blank
The cashier looked at my basket, looked at me and said "That's a lot of wine." I looked at her and said "Mother in law." She nodded approvingly.
He's a security blanket. A security blanket who FUCKS.
Randomize
