what do kids with lesbian moms do for father's day? like do you talk about it? is it awkward? do you get the butchy mom a card?
I just watched the Dark knight, Maggie Gylennhaal looks like Katie Holmes after a stroke
My vagina smells like strawberry tangerine twist.
The project manager just came into talk to me for the first time and I had justed googled best drum solo ever and couldn't X out of the screen.
morning after pill = breakfast in bed
she's sitting here naked with heels and a taco.
passed a homeless guy with a sign that read "420 vetran" we gave him a bowl of bud
If she were to ever cheat on her husband, I'm positive I'm the the go to guy. Which flatters me and weirds me out at the same time.
Yeah? Well I'm currently predrinking downstairs in my room by myself. Absolut and water with a hint of mint because I'm using the glass I keep my toothbrush in. Fuck, you bitches better get off work soon.
"It's not a date, we're just spending the entire day at a concert and then getting high together." Awesome.
You have found the Promised Land of friend zones
We need a bunch of roses, some chocolate, 2 cops, a mariachi band, and a thermometer
Today I'm playing this game called how physically long can I Lay in this one spot before moving, do you have an estimated time of departure?
We can talk about your dick in my throat after a decision is made, this is my hair we're talking about. .. shit's important.
I think I'm still high. And I definitely still smell like lobster, so there's that
If I'm going to keep blacking out this much I need to start taking more pictures.
Randomize