At one point last night while tipping the bartender you looked at him and said "If I need money later, I'm taking this back"
i just woke up at 8pm naked in my bed, with a fresh haircut. I wonder what barber i went to.
And if not, hey- I've never had a restraining order before, so that will be cool
It could be our claim to fame
Done. I'll pack a cooler.
he just kept saying "come on iron man, you can do this!" to himself the whole time..
does it count as cheating if I'm bettering him for his girlfriend?
she's sitting alone using her breathalyzer as a kazoo. help.
They got me high and left me at the mall with a giftcard for $400. I need an adult.
An don't say it's "personal preference" cause I don't buy it. I just want to have normal cool guy balls. I don't want to be the dude that's still rocking the equivalent of the "mid 90's bowl cut" of scrotum haircuts.
My birthday is in 11 days. Going ham. Consciousness will not be an option
Reunion weekend was a success. Had 3 ex's inside my vag. Hat trick!
I should not be so motivated by a penis, but I am
Novelty of the week: Getting my lipstick back in an evidence bag
Can you come unlock the door? I just peed myself on the porch.
I just asked my mom if I could be the drunk realitive at the reunion. She said as long as I'm not obvious.
I woke up while she was taking a panoramic photo of my morning wood
Randomize
