I've been reduced to Capt. Morgan and Golden Girls reruns. Ugh.
Her gag reflex was as absent as a father figure must have been in her childhood
I'm going to an arts college, I live next to the frat houses, and my room number is 420. god has plans for me and I couldn't be happier.
I saw an Asian dude carrying a patchwork denim purse get into a car with two rednecks at the grocery store tonight. Imagine what I could have seen if I had actually done something interesting.
Did you know the Dallas Cowboy cheerleaders have an exercise show ON Demand? Yeah, I had a lonely night
Okay I've seen like three girls walking around crying today. Weird?
everyone's regretting their thursdays.
She compared sex to doing dishes."You scrub them until they're wet."
Its like they don't get that I only talk to them before homecoming, thanksgiving, or any other time I go home. I love highschool girls.
Why is there not a 'day after acid' genre. Or even a pandora station or something.
He tied my whole arm, in its cast, to the headboard first. He mumbled something about safe, sane, and consensual?
If for no other reason than to cuddle with that puppy, you have to hook up with him again.
I told you that you should stop drinking and you responded "Thanks for telling me how to live, North Korea!"
All I've done is masturbate and drink while being home from college.
You used his ass cheeks to demonstrate how to play the bongos and he still called you the next day. That's true love.
Yes be both agreed it was the worst sex in the history of fornication, so I asked him to sign the condom wrapper so I could frame it as a reminder to NEVER sleep with him again
Randomize
