Do you think if I drink bleach they will let me leave work?
Tears do usually get me what I want. That and oral sex.
Plus apparently whenever one of her friends loses their virginity they get a party with a funfetti cake which I found funny
nope im down the street in my car watching the front of her house. its actually less creepy than it sounds
All I remember is that the bartender wouldn't give me scissors cuz I was too drunk
i dont care. it has been a 14 hour day, and we are all celebrating by alternating shots and grilled cheese.
I almost shit my pants in anger over your moral sanity.
Nothing like pulling a bottle of vodka out of your purse at 7am in the security line to make your fellow passengers uncomfortable...
Hot Damn Cinnamon Schnapps make me feel like the sun is punching me in the face and a bear is sleeping inside me.
WHY WOULD YOU SWIPE RIGHT???!!!!!
The same reason I ordered and ate almost an entire pizza last night
So we decided we're going to stop having sex...except for tonight. And probably tomorrow.
I think he's an actor
That's not a good enough reason to wear guy-liner
I deleted all traces of him from my phone
even the dick picks he sent you?
no are you nuts? saved that shit to my camera roll
sometimes i just have a bad day n consider lowering my standards
I’d say they were worth it. He screamed “your tits are fanfuckingtastic!”while he was cumming
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