she was wearing a cheetah print one-piece and i slept with her anyway. big mistake.
She said her name was "party"
why do all the strippers look like they came from fraggle rock
Mym mom just came downstairs as I got ghome ans I'm trying to act SO CASUAL as i stabdh here hut icant help bur be like 'girl where's ther Turkey sandwiche s' haahaa
I literally need you to talke care of me soooo9o9oooooo drubj gril makin a sabdwiche. SO far its judst bred and paper towel...
If it's any consolation, I've been sitting in the hallway in assless chaps for the past thirty minutes
You didn't even properly utilize my pigtails.
Best orgasm I ever had! I though we totally connected and I asked him to stay over. He went back to the sigma chi house and returned with his blankie and a 40. please help
You literally spelled every word wrong or with numbers except for "drunk", which you used all caps for.
I felt the need to accentuate it....
Alls I wanted was a fun New Years but I end up fingering a geico sales representative on a futon and giving her a ride to work the next morning
My glasses were in the garbage this morning
his mom fetish really needs to stop. this is literally the 5th time i've come home from work and there's been some random skank and her kids in the living room.
did one of the kids use their poo like a crayon on the wall this time?
Currently tripping balls and watching Pink Floyd the wall and I'm crying during it. If this isn't a self realization then I don't know what to tell you.
I came home in someone else's underwear this morning
Atleast you got a souvenir
Yeahh. im on the phone with him drunk. he told me he found a pigeon in a cardboard box and named it quincy...
He told me their parents think of me as the "drunk friend"...oddly enough, I'm ok with that
Randomize
