hi i'm bored and kind of... in a sort of dirty mood
pics
no i'm at a mixer dressed up as the teenage mutant ninja turtles
doesn't he have a GF?
that just means you have to try harder.
i didn't have to try TOO hard, just told him i didn't want to know his name or...
I have no memory of puking on someone. Was he cute?
foreplay: 7 minutes. sex: 3 minutes. cuddling: 10 minutes. getting dressed: 5 minutes. commute: 5 minutes.
he was humming party in the usa while we were having sex.
If I banged a coworker last night but didn't enjoy it can I put it down on my timesheet?
Hooking up with him would mean my type has officially become... drug dealer.
GOOD NIGHT DREAM OF ALCOHOL SNO CONES
I knew my sign language would come in handy. I just used sign to coordinate a coke deal.
He was dressed as ron burgundy and his pickup line was "dont worry, i wont make you jump in a bear pit."
I think I'll bring the beer we scavenged from that other party. What goes around comes around, especially when it's Corona because that shit is not staying in my fridge
He started going down on me while we were watching Land Before Time.
Incredible.
Heres a quick tip! When getting black out head from your girlfriend dont come to and say "wait... wheres my girlfriend"
She dressed up in a sexy maid outfit for me, but she got mad when I asked her to actually do some cleaning.
Tequilla is a sneaky bitch ninja that doesn't kick in until you least expect it. Then BAM! You're peeing in unconventional places.
Randomize
