I wish they made sweatshirts for legs
you mean pants?
explain the missing patches of hair on my cat. now.
Why is your signature on my underwear?
Drunk in a canoe getting pulled by a lawn mower thinking of you
im trying to find a facebook picture of him that doesnt make me regret sleeping with him. its not working
Not sure why I sent you a picture of a black bear last night but it seemed like a good idea at the time.
I don't even know if I LIKE sober sex any more.
Whos eating a bunch of acid and watching fireworks tomorrow? This guy. Thats who.
ripping the fire alarm off the wall probably seemed like a better idea last night than it really was.
The one with glasses said he was keeping my bra. He had me sign it before he left and he said he would be hanging it up in his bunker. I support our troops.
I woke up to an alarm on my phone that said "Buy Plan B" and then the guy offered me a hairbrush... which seemed polite at the time
I mean, he drove your car and it burst into flames, if anyone cant be trusted, it's him.
Jesus Christ. Even your cock has to be an overachiever. :-(
Are you going to regret this?
No I do t think so
Ok then he can enter the holy dorm temple.
What, That's like a total 7 inches of cock and 6 are from Joe. Don't be mad at me because you had the lamest orgy ever.
Randomize
