Baton twirling is one of his activities on facebook.
Also he is "an Ohio stae gran champion twirler". You cannot tell me he's straight
She rubs her butt on the bed & then she growls..
Omg. Get me out of here. Someone is playing michelle branch.
I could literally track my booty calls if I ever got knocked up by my parking tickets
according to the contents of this bucket, last night i swallowed a whole teabag
Don't judge me. It was less weird than it sounds when we were in the moment and it was his birthday
this is really not the time to pretend we have morals
Your maid of honor is passed out in a golf cart on the 18th hole.
You just kept shouting "I AM AN ADULT!" until he agreed to carry you home on his shoulders.
I can't say "baby i'm to high to talk to you" in Starbucks.
he gave me a thermos so I could take my coffee with my on drive of shame. I was unexpectedly grateful...
Do you have any puffy paint? I want to put "fiesta muthafuckas" on my sombrero but its too much to bedazzle.
Just woke up. Naked. Under an animal pelt. With a girl. I've never met her. She's pretty naked too.
I just smoked a bowl alone and took my Zyrtec here's to a full night.
To be honest, waking up to 20 naked people in my house was not the weirdest thing to happen to me in the past 24 hours
Randomize
