The guy I fucked in the port a poty just called me and asked me on a date!
Awkward!
No he was cute and I said yes!
She's an honest to god fucking ballerina. She did things I don't have names for.
Having a man strip on demand was an awesome way to start birthday. What more could a girl ask for? U the best!
I have just gotten home. I saw a lot of penis tonight. On a trampoline. Shit got weird.
Plus I'm on the toilet and I can only describe it as if someone had kicked the cap off of a fire hydrant.
I took the weekend off because he and I were supposed to go to Vegas for our anniversary and get a hooker remember?
Ah, yes. Who says romance is dead?
I just got back to our room ....neither of us spent the night there but both our beds are occupied. send help.
I'd go lesbian for $50 and a good phone case.
And I was like "take off the damn flower crown, we're about to have sex not post an indie picture on tumblr"
why not an indie porn pic then
I'm about to have a bowl of Advils... without any fucking milk.
If Boring and Monotone had a love child, it would be this guy.
Every guy I've ever fucked is single right now
Pray for me
I invited him to my hotel room via snapchat. I'm one hell of a classy bitch
Be there in 6 mins I’m smell like fireball. and strippers and need to use your showers before go home
Somehow my life has turned in to drug deals at the bar, and illegally camping on a mountain because I have no where else to live.
Randomize
