FYI: if you have sex in your room with the light on, we can totally see your shadows from the parking lot
Your boyfriend has good rhythm though.
The Rock is playing the tooth fairy. I can't believe I used to smell what that man was cooking
YouTube is recomending me a video on how to make a home made meth bong, what has my life come to?
smoking a bowl while I'm peeing. i love having a big dick.
he made a joke about you fucking his daughter...i think youre golden
It was just a friend comforting a friend. Except his penis was inside of me.
What do I wear to meet his family/put his dog to sleep? Is there even an appropriate outfit for this occasion?
You're about to fuck a guy with a sweatshirt tied around his waist like a mensurating 13 year old. Get your priorities straight, you're graduating tomorrow.
Who is Katie and why do we have her birthday cake?
She said we "made love." I had to explain to her that when both parties agree that the first time time they have sex both people agree to video tape the whole thing its not "making love" but more like random good time fun sex.
Drunk field day, hangover yoga and sober archery practice
I don't think tits should taste like fish.
Are you seriously getting this frustrated over a hand-job right now?
ok but bondage is pretty much my easy mode
I'd date him. I'd date the fucking shit out of him.
Randomize