Well all I remember is going to sleep being big spoon to you and waking up being little spoon to *****
he called me a worthless slut and then went 2 the bathroom 2 pee on the floor before leavin. but he was really hot and he left his jacket, should i call him?
My roommate just called. He's in Miami and has no idea how he got there. He also has a ticket to Buenos Aires that he can't explain. I figured you'd have the explanation.
That's right. If she can't abide by the rules then she gets booted. It's like survivor booty call edition
the welcome home hickey he left on my boob is really gunna put a damper on the rest of my thanksgiving hook up plans with the rest of my ex's
No no don't get confused. We do chemistry homework on Thursdays. We screw on Fridays. Other than that, Words With Friends is our only communication five days a week. We are NOT dating.
Id have to say flaming beer pong was a royal success.
I was having the most awesome dream about onion rings and you hit me and told me to stop touching you...WTF?
Some fat latino guy has these 2 fat white moms making out with each other on the dance floor
I drank enough to tranq a steed. You really missed out
Just banged your ex. So it really is 'him, not you' in that he's gay. Rodeo champion gay.
I'm pretty sure that's why we have such good sex because we are secretly trying to kill each other
Almost stopped showering halfway through to go get food
I just showed this kid my nipples to work my shift tmw
Heard flapping noises behind me. It was my roommate flapping her bathrobe like wings, saying "I'm a faaaiiiiry."
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