i'm almost one hundred percent positive that i have a warrant out for my arrest in this city. i also don't give a fuck because im drinking TEQUILAAAA
dude, the summer is killing me. i just woke up cause my balls were stuck to HER leg!
after the cops left he pulled the weed out of his ass and we smoked it
A guy on the street just growled at me and said damnnnn. Sometimes it scares me how attractive i am.
She's doing shots in her underwear, a fur hat and mittens. I'm never coming home.
He was drinking a long island through his Breathalyzer tube.
It's all good. The CSI guy came and I played the theme song while he in was in our place. The cops even laughed.
I'm pretty sure I did the Macarena with a gay guy while shot gunning a beer
Burritos, beer, and hot tub sex. Merry Christmas to me.
I walked out ot my car in the morning thinking there was a sandwich I left there from yesterday. Then later that day I was checking the mail and saw the other side of my car :/
It concerns me the most that u were potentially going to eat a day old car sandwich.
Ps he swallowed my earring last night so yeah
Is there ever a non-asshole time to play the "I was a child prodigy" card?
He walked into the bar with a pillow and put his head down...nuff said
Yeah. I hurt his pride. But he's not over it. And by it I mean me.
There's a pregnant girl taking shots of apple juice
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